No reason why

You will not probably read this and I’m glad you will not. I am not being “dramatic” but this just what I feel about us. Our past that seems so wrong from the start. I am not blaming anybody or myself. I do not even know who is responsible for us become like this. Or maybe we never become we either.

You may be the first “friend” I ever had at that time when I was reaching out for someone who wants to reach my hand and save me.  There you were, offered me a friendship. That was I thought before you and me became we and then two became three. Yes, we were the three of us. The worst combination of human being. That was I thought we were. But, I was happy to have you guys. You were one of my reasons to come to school and the reason for me to have social activity with people.

Us against the world. That was I thought we were for. Until, at some point I realized that, you were happy just to be together without me. You seems happier to show her your song instead of me. At first I thought that was just fine, we are we after all. It was not a big deal for me as long as we could be together as a friend. Then, you became more and more popular than I thought. You got more friends even your serials girlfriends and their friends.

The world changed and so we were. You once ignored me and her in front of your “friends” that I couldn’t remember which one and also didn’t care much. I still have her, had her. I’ll tell you that me and this girl or I called her “her” were originally met before I met him. I did not believe that we could survive those 3 years remain as friend.

We fought a lot, the three of us. Then reconciled then fought again. And the three of us just became lost memories. I remember that day, I threw my temper to you and we never spoke again until now. This is him who I’m talking about. I didn’t know who’s the one who supposed to be as hurt as hell, me or you? And who’s supposed to be angry? But, She was there watching us and she said that’s me, who’s supposed to be angry, my pride was hurt but I was glad that you were there, girl. You watched us fought and you took my side. Or maybe you should have not taken side.

We were busy with our own life. Our new life. I did not give a damn about what happened to us. I was started to forget and moved on. Then, my father’s died. And you boy, didn’t come. Didn’t even said a word. You off all people. I thought you have forgiven me and I could meet you back then, what a silly hope. I was thinking about you coming over my dad’s funeral. I still had the thought of you. But, you didn’t come, never. I felt so stupid, still I am. You humiliated me but you even don’t know about it. I guess, we were never that close. It just me who thinking like that.

The stupid me for maybe 2 years or more lost her as well because of my stupid moody habits “doesn’t text back” and “cut all connections”. We are become history now and no one even care about it.


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